Flip to the other side of the card

Unless you live under a rock, you know that this past weekend was Mother’s Day. In all honesty, the last two Mother’s Days have not been fun. I’ve smiled and hugged my boys and pretended to be happy. I even got excited when they purchased me an Air Fryer as a gift this year.  (I’m using it for the first time tonight…so hang on, I’ll let you know how it goes).   I’ve tried to put on a pretty face for Mother’s Day, but all I really want is a phone call to heaven.  I miss my Mom more than I can say and Mother’s Day is a reminder that she is no longer here. It is just another day of seeing moms and daughters together and feeling the pain of what I miss so desperately.  Now, I know that she is with me in my heart and I know I can talk with her anytime….but it still hurts that I don’t get to hug her neck, listen to her advice, or listen to her complain about my siblings making me feel like I’m her favorite. I avoid TV, I stay off all social media, and I beg my people not to take me out to eat (which I never win).  You see Mother’s Day is hard. It is a reminder of what I have lost and it sometimes is more than I can bear to stand.

Today, a student was acting out. He was having a bad day---and it really is unusual. As I brain stormed with the teacher, we realized that this student, who is in foster care, was feeling the same way I felt yesterday. He misses his mom.  So I took him to my office and we talked and I must admit we cried together. We made a little notecard of all the things that make him sad….missing his brother’s birthday, missing his mom, a classmate that yells at him….and then we made a list on the other side of the notecard of the things that make him happy……and that list was so very long.... Grilled cheese sandwiches, Monster University, getting his monthly visit with his mom and brother, his teacher, math, and getting to play football next year.  That list of things that made him happy just kept growing. I told him that every time he felt sad, to turn over the card and read about all the things that make him happy and pretty soon the things that make him sad will not feel so bad.

As I walked him back to class, I realized that I can give great advice, but I sure don’t listen to it myself. While the pain of not having my mother on Mother’s Day is bad (and I don’t even want to talk about Father’s Day), I have so much that is good.  SO MUCH THAT IS GOOD!  Right before I turned to go into my office, I was stopped by a staff member with a complaint. Now I try to be open to listen to everything, but I found myself asking that staff member “what makes you happy here?”  You see it is easy to focus on the bad. It is easy to talk about all the things that are wrong, that are upsetting to you, or that need immediate attention, but do you stop and focus on how far we’ve come or how many things you have around you that make you happy?

You see, if I had done what I wanted to do yesterday-get under the covers and cry all day- then I would have missed out on an amazing church service. I would have missed out on a fantastic meal at one of my favorite downtown restaurants. I would have missed out on watching Clemson baseball with my people and having them laugh at my intensity. I would have missed out on afternoon ice cream at Rocky Moos (and if you have been there you need to put it on your “things that make you happy” list). Dang, I would have even missed out on reading new recipes to try in my Air Fryer.

Being bogged down in what is wrong makes us miss what is right. And don’t we have so much here that is right?  I certainly will never be one to avoid fixing the things that are wrong. We, like everyone else, have things to work on, but I focus on the things that are right. I focus on what we’ve accomplished.  I focus on the things that make me happy. Because that list is too long to even write on a notecard.

I have and will continue to speak about #maymatters. Because it does. What we are doing with our students right now sets the stage for the next two months for them. Every extra push of learning sets them up for continued success. It is difficult work. It is hard. And it is easy to focus on how busy we are, and how much we have to do……..or we could focus on the other side of the card…….what makes us happy? 

So I beg of you for how many ever days we have left of this school year to flip to the other side of the card.