Be my Valentine

I’ve never loved Valentine’s Day. In high school, our school used to sell carnations and candy grams the week of Valentine. Each morning the student council would deliver flowers or candy grams in homeroom. I’d wait with baited breath to see if a friend or a boy would have something delivered to me. It was torture. It also started lots of rumors and teenage talk. Then I became older and had more serious relationships and the amount of pressure that I would feel at Valentine gift purchasing was a bit overwhelming and I somewhat found my gifts from these significant others to be a bit underwhelming. Then I got married. My first Valentine’s Day with my husband, we had been married for a little over a month. He had to work a basketball game the night of Valentine’s so when I got home, he had flowers and balloons waiting for me with a card. So we probably didn’t know each other well enough when we got married since he didn’t know my extreme fear of balloons. And the card he got me had a beautiful beach scene on the front, but when I read the card, it was for an interracial couple (spoiler-we're both white). Seriously…the card said “even though our skin color is not the same our hearts beat as one.” It was on that day I realized Valentine’s Day was just not a celebration that was worthy of a lot of time or effort. I somewhat attributed it to the people who only come to church on Christmas and Easter. Everyday should be full of a little bit of love and not just on February14^th. 

When my boys started school, I was so excited to help them make Valentine’s treats for their classmates. When Rosebro1 was in second grade he started talking about his “girlfriend” Eleisha. While I love, love Eleisha what I didn’t love was my 7 year old having a girlfriend. So I decided that I wanted to teach him that Valentine’s Day was about much more than just a girlfriend.  I made him write on each of his Valentine’s card the reason why he “loved” each of his classmates. At first it was pretty simple…”I love that you gave me a silly band.” “I love how much fun we have playing kickball at recess.” “I love when I saw you at Chick fil A one time and we played in the playground.” It was very surface, but over the years it became more evolved… "I love the way you are so kind”, “I love how you always make me laugh with your jokes”, “I love how you never give up even when it is hard.” While the Rosebros didn’t love this exercise each year, it was a great way to have discussions about seeing good in people even when it was hard to find.

At the same time I was making the Rosebros do this for their classmates, they would wake up each morning of February 1^st through February 14^th with a handmade heart taped to their bedroom door. The heart would have a handwritten note from me and my husband (well, let’s be honest…I just signed his name). The note would detail one reason why we loved them. As hard as it was to continue that tradition this year, I did. And it was a little sad at first, but my boys love it even if their teenage hormones don’t allow them to express it. I do see them reading their heart each morning and it does my heart good to know that my boys know they are loved.

I was thinking about this Monday in the car line as I watched the variety of styles of getting out of the car. Many parents are so like me, “I love you, have a great day, be good, stay on green, here’s your lunch, Love you.” But some do not even acknowledge their children getting out of the car. No goodbye, no have a good day, no see ya this afternoon. Some parents are yelling, “Hurry up -get out. Where’s your bookbag?”  Could it be possible that I am the first person to tell that child “I love you” in the morning? Could it be possible that I am the first positive interaction that child has that day? It is an overwhelming thought that not only am I responsible for making sure they learn to read, write, comprehend, analysis, compute, and become scientist all the while making sure they know they are loved.

Yet, that is what we do. And we do it more than just on Valentine’s Day. For teachers, every day is Valentine’s Day. It is why I keep chocolate in my office.