Say Yes to the.......

This summer I had a small medical procedure that left me in bed for 3 days.  Now anyone who knows me, knows this was painful for everyone around me.  I don’t do laziness and I definitely don’t do hours and hours of nothing.  While I tried to read and possibly do some work on my laptop, what I found myself doing more than ever before was watching TV. This is not something I do a whole lot of either, but I was able to catch up on some Netflix binge watching. I then began watching the most interesting show-which probably everyone, except me, has been watching for years.  Say Yes to the Dress is a reality show set in New York’s famous Klienfeld’s bridal shop.  The thirty-minute show follows 2 or 3 brides as they shop, with their entourage, for the most perfect wedding dress. Normally I would never watch such a show that reinforces problematic values like excessive materialism, objectification of women, and a loose definition of marriage, but I just could not stop watching one episode after another.

 As I started watching this show, I became caught up in the bride finding her perfect dress. I loved watching the variety of dresses, the crazy costs of these dresses, and the moment when each bride finally says “yes to the dress.” 

I watched these girls come into the store looking for their perfect dress. I saw brides get frustrated by their opinionated entourages. I cried with brides who missed their Moms during this most ritual of events that should be shared with a Mom. I laughed at the ridiculousness of some brides who spent more on their dress than I did on my first car.  I saw brides give in to others and I saw some brides dig their figurative heels in and do what they wanted.

Yet after about 10 episodes, I started really watching the consultants. These ladies, and one man, are more than just selling dresses. They have perfected the skill of selling an experience. What I discovered was that most of the brides had no idea what they wanted, and somehow these dress consultants were able to find the perfect dress, out of 1000s in the store, for almost each bride. They were also skillful therapist as some how they were able to see that some brides struggled with their entourage, struggled with commitment, or struggled with their body image. At the very end the consultants do something that I just loved. They call it “jack them up”. This is when the consultants almost have a bride convinced on a certain dress and they add a veil, earrings, necklace, and put the bride’s hair up-all while the bride’s eyes are closed. When the bride opens her eyes, more times than not, she sees the beauty that she is, and finally she says “yes to the dress.”

As I watched episode and episode of this, I started thinking about us and our work at school.  How often are we like the consultants on Say Yes to the Dress. We have to navigate an entourage of folks telling us what we should do or what we need to be doing. We know, probably better than others, what our students need or what they want. We also have to spend an enormous amount of time helping our students see in themselves something they don’t yet see or believe. I keep going back to the moment when the bride is “jacked up” and she opens her eyes and she believes she is the most beautiful bride….she is CONFIDENT in that decision.

How often do we “jack up” our students? Do you make your students want what you’re giving them? Are you giving them content as well as the confidence to do something with that knowledge? Because just like those dress consultants, we are selling a feeling as well. That feeling of confidence will help the most uninspired student come to life. So I challenge you today….who are you saying yes to?