A New Pair of Shoes

Last week, the long awaited announcement of this year's musical was finally made.  This is always fun to watch. I love how the students have been guessing since last year’s musical what would be selected. I love dropping incorrect hints to students to throw them off track. I love the faces of the students-even the ones who have no clue what was happening-when the musical was announced. Cinderella. My all-time absolute favorite Disney character is Cinderella. In fact, even as a 40-something year old, I cannot go to Disney World without standing in the ridiculously long line to meet Cinderella.  I am so super excited about this play and watching our students produce what is bound to be one of our best yet.

As I was discussing our reveal with my sister on Saturday as she follows JBE on facebook and had seen the video, she noted my excited. She asked me why it was that a grown woman would love this fairy tale so very much.  You see my sister despises these fairy tale stories for two simple reasons: (1) she hates that there is a deceased parent in every movie and (2) until Brave and Frozen there were no fairy tales that didn’t involve a man saving a woman from doom (my sister believes strongly that women can save themselves).  Of course I started talking about Cindy’s dress and the funny stepsisters, and the prince. Realizing that I would never win an argument with my sister, I changed the subject. But on the ride home after leaving my sister, I started thinking about some of the real reasons I love Cinderella so much.  And I realized it has to do with so much more than just Prince Charming, a beautiful chariot, and a "to-die" for dress.  I realized that what I loved best about Cinderella carried over into my teaching.

The first is to always be kind-no matter what!  Bless Cindy’s heart. Could you imagine what her life was like and how kind she continued to be to everyone-the animals, her stepmother, and her stepsisters. Being kind is not always easy. It actually takes strength to be kind. I hope that as we start this new school year we take some time to teach our students the importance of kindness and generosity. Secondly, and probably one of my biggest “take aways” from Cinderella is to believe in yourself-even when others do not. Cinderella was a mere house maid, seamstress, and cook.  Yet, she never stop believing that she was a kind, beautiful girl who had great things to accomplish. So many of our students don’t have that inner voice reminding them that they are worthy, that they are important, and that someone loves them-be that voice for them.  Cinderella was so positive-even when she had every reason to be negative and down trodden.  Even with the evil stepmother and stepsisters, there was good in her life. Cinderella saw that. It is so easy-almost second nature-to think negative and to go to a negative place. But if Cindy had been negative, she would have missed out on so much. It is easy to focus on the hardships of this job, our students, our never ending to do list, but if you stop and look around-we are the luckiest people in the world. What amazing work we get to do each day!  We have never ending influence and should that not be one of the utmost positivity?  And finally-and probably my most important lesson from Cinderella-never stop dreaming! BUT don’t forget you have to work for those dreams.  Cinderella dreamed of going to the ball-she craved it, she fantasized about it, she couldn't let that dream go. Yet, Cinderella didn’t get to that ball by chance. She worked her way there. She was given a ridiculous amount of chores, she worked with her “friends” to make a dress when she realized she had nothing to wear, and she did all of this with hard work and a great attitude.  Success has often been stated as preparation meeting opportunity and this is a great (albeit fictional) example.  Of course it took a little magic to get Cindy to the ball, but it first took her hard work. I hope when we teach our students that they can do or be anything, we remind them that it only happens if they put the work into it. Inspiring our students to have a great work ethic is no easy tasks, but failing to teach them that makes the rest of your teaching for naught. 

My favorite Cinderella quote has always been, “a dream is a wish your heart makes.”  I dream for each of you to never forget those lessons from Cinderella and if you forget just remember……Cinderella really teaches us that there is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.

Say Yes to the.......

This summer I had a small medical procedure that left me in bed for 3 days.  Now anyone who knows me, knows this was painful for everyone around me.  I don’t do laziness and I definitely don’t do hours and hours of nothing.  While I tried to read and possibly do some work on my laptop, what I found myself doing more than ever before was watching TV. This is not something I do a whole lot of either, but I was able to catch up on some Netflix binge watching. I then began watching the most interesting show-which probably everyone, except me, has been watching for years.  Say Yes to the Dress is a reality show set in New York’s famous Klienfeld’s bridal shop.  The thirty-minute show follows 2 or 3 brides as they shop, with their entourage, for the most perfect wedding dress. Normally I would never watch such a show that reinforces problematic values like excessive materialism, objectification of women, and a loose definition of marriage, but I just could not stop watching one episode after another.

 As I started watching this show, I became caught up in the bride finding her perfect dress. I loved watching the variety of dresses, the crazy costs of these dresses, and the moment when each bride finally says “yes to the dress.” 

I watched these girls come into the store looking for their perfect dress. I saw brides get frustrated by their opinionated entourages. I cried with brides who missed their Moms during this most ritual of events that should be shared with a Mom. I laughed at the ridiculousness of some brides who spent more on their dress than I did on my first car.  I saw brides give in to others and I saw some brides dig their figurative heels in and do what they wanted.

Yet after about 10 episodes, I started really watching the consultants. These ladies, and one man, are more than just selling dresses. They have perfected the skill of selling an experience. What I discovered was that most of the brides had no idea what they wanted, and somehow these dress consultants were able to find the perfect dress, out of 1000s in the store, for almost each bride. They were also skillful therapist as some how they were able to see that some brides struggled with their entourage, struggled with commitment, or struggled with their body image. At the very end the consultants do something that I just loved. They call it “jack them up”. This is when the consultants almost have a bride convinced on a certain dress and they add a veil, earrings, necklace, and put the bride’s hair up-all while the bride’s eyes are closed. When the bride opens her eyes, more times than not, she sees the beauty that she is, and finally she says “yes to the dress.”

As I watched episode and episode of this, I started thinking about us and our work at school.  How often are we like the consultants on Say Yes to the Dress. We have to navigate an entourage of folks telling us what we should do or what we need to be doing. We know, probably better than others, what our students need or what they want. We also have to spend an enormous amount of time helping our students see in themselves something they don’t yet see or believe. I keep going back to the moment when the bride is “jacked up” and she opens her eyes and she believes she is the most beautiful bride….she is CONFIDENT in that decision.

How often do we “jack up” our students? Do you make your students want what you’re giving them? Are you giving them content as well as the confidence to do something with that knowledge? Because just like those dress consultants, we are selling a feeling as well. That feeling of confidence will help the most uninspired student come to life. So I challenge you today….who are you saying yes to?