First failure..

Recently I drove by the school of my very first teaching interview. I will never forget pulling into this  school over 20 years ago for a job interview.  I was so excited to get a job teaching, a goal that I had for myself for over 20 years and had worked hard in and out of the classroom to put myself into this position.  I had the right outfit, a wonderful portfolio that I had put together, and arrived a precise 10 minutes early for the interview.  I made eye contact and shook hands with the principal and assistant principal when they introduced themselves. The first 5 questions or so I was on fire.  I had great answers for each question and with each answer I became more and more confident.  Then things went south. I stumbled over a question about urban and suburban, mixing up their definitions. I then had a hard time finding the right words to answer a question about poverty.  I stumbled through the last few question as my confidence diminished.  This left me frustrated and I honestly remember, for the first time in my life, feeling that my dream of being a teacher was in jeopardy.  My next interview was in my hometown. My poor interview the week before had cracked me.  I was a nervous wreck.  I wasn’t myself, I lacked belief that I could do it, and I failed again (although I was later offered the job).  This left me even more upset, mad, and with less confidence than ever before.  

Then I started thinking about my goal.  I wanted to be a teacher.  I wanted to change the lives of kids, I wanted to make a real difference in those around me.  So, I contacted one of my professors and asked for a fake interview.  I asked the principal of the school where I was student teaching if she would pretend interview me and give me feedback and advice.  I read and I reflected on the past two interviews. It was also about this time that I read a wonderful quote that I've kept in the front of my journal for years, "Allow your passion to become your purpose, and it will one day become your profession" (Gabrielle Bernstien). Now, I think you all know how the story ends-clearly I got a job.  After a couple of weeks of really hard work, I was called to other interviews.  I vowed to myself that I would not let my doubts or fears enter my mind as I answered their questions with complete honesty and confidence.  I was offered that job, and two others actually.  

Looking back I think about what ignited me more. Was it my inner fear of never being employed or was it my drive to be the very best at whatever I do? Probably a little of both. So as I drove by the school of my first failure this weekend, I started thinking? What ignites your fire?  What motivates you to want to improve?  Do you even measure your improvement? Do you see the need for growth? Every day I’m motivated to improve.  Sometimes that motivation comes from outside-a blog I’ve read, feedback from a teacher, or a situation that didn’t go so well, and sometimes that feedback comes from within.  No matter what, I am constantly striving to do things better. So as we enter the homestretch to spring break, what is igniting you? I can promise you that working hard for something you don't care about is stressful, but working hard for something you really believe in-something you love-is called passion. That passion can ignite many flames.