Decision Making

I have made no secrets about my enjoyment of Twitter. It isn’t a Facebook entertainment-like enjoyment but rather an instant professional learning community that I can enjoy whether I have five minutes or five hours. I am involved in several Twitter chats and on one such chat last week the idea of decision making came up. As educators we make so many decisions in one day. Some of those decisions seem minor- which line to use in the cafeteria, what color paper to use on the parent newsletter copies, or trying to figure out the difference between feeling bad and being sick.  We make big decisions as well- calling the parent over a child’s behavior, making a call to DSS over suspected abuse, changing a student’s RTI group.  With the numerous decisions we have to make in one day, it makes good sense that we are going to get some of them wrong every now and then.  Many times these decisions have to be made with little “thinking time.” I sometimes wish we were like the business world and could call a committee meeting when we had a decision to make. Nevertheless, we don’t have that type of time and we must make on the spot decisions. Many times we are making several decisions all at one time. 

My husband often gets frustrated with me because I occasionally refuse to make a choice at home even as easy as what to eat for dinner or what shirt he should wear if we are going out simply because I just can’t make one more decision that day.  On some days, my brain hurts from all the decisions I’ve made that day. I also would like to feel comfortable with my decisions once I’ve made them, but I am not wired in that manner. Even after I’ve made some decisions, I spend time reflecting on those decisions. This certainly happened with a decision that I had to make this week and it all reminded me of an issue last year.  One that makes this upcoming Thanksgiving so much more special to me. 

Last May, at 7:05am on a Monday morning, a group of students and their parents met me in the front office and asked if they could pray in the lobby for their teacher and her baby. There I was with less than two cups of coffee in me and I was having to make a decision. The decision was even harder because what the students and the parents didn’t know was that Mrs. Bryant, their teacher, and her husband were going to be saying good bye to their baby that morning. The doctors had told them that they had done all they could do and the family and friends spent the weekend trying to wrap their minds around what was happening and preparing for every parent’s worst nightmare.  Because I’d had a similar experience, the weekend had also been emotionally hard on me as it brought up deep dark feelings from my past as well as thinking of how to help the staff, students, and our community comprehend the outcome. Additionally, I fretted over how I could ever help Mrs. Bryant and her family know how much we loved them and how to help them through this tragedy. This praying group was persistent and I made a quick decision, mostly because I wasn’t ready to deal with the truth and I needed to get outside and open car doors, to let them pray and thought that while this was a public school, I would figure out how to deal with any complaints later as well as the idea that later that day I would have to explain to these folks that their prayers didn’t work.  (Don’t judge my faith-it was just how I was feeling at that moment)  I spent the entire car pool, thinking about this decision. As the day went on, I made a number of other decisions, as I waited for Mrs. Bryant’s sister to call me with the news that Camden had earned his angel wings. 

Yet, the day dragged on and on with no phone call. Around 5pm, I received a call with tears on the other end-yet the tears were that of joy, as a miracle had happened that day, and baby Camden was still with us and while many questions still existed, he was going to stay with us. I sat in my office chair, tears rolling down my eyes, and said a little prayer of thanksgiving, and afterwards I thought about decisions again.  I realized that in the end, I must remember that I have good judgment (most of the time), my decisions are always purpose driven, always respectful, and I believe that my God is ultimately in charge. Making good decisions is crucial no matter what your job is in our school. Your decisions have profound impacts on others around you. Just as I did that Monday morning, I urge you to make good judgment decisions based on the love of our school, students, staff, and yourself and not based on fear.  When you base your decisions on that love, this will always lead you in the right direction and just like baby Camden, you have no idea just how far you can reach with just one decision.

Happy 1st Thanksgiving, Camden. We’re so grateful for your story. We are so grateful for what you’ve taught us all.