#MayMatters

Last Thursday at breakfast, I was talking to the larger group when I said, “the first thing you need to do when you sit down is open up your silverware pack. We do this because everything in there should be used but most importantly your napkin because…” But before I could finish my statement, I was interrupted by two students who, having heard my speech for 6 years knew I would say “manners matter.”  I chuckled at the fact that these two have probably heard me say that phrase at least 500 times since they began kindergarten 6 years ago. I chuckled at the fact that I tend to constantly overuse alliteration. I chuckled mostly because I was pleased that while I’ve not taught them any academic content, I have taught these young men something. You see the cafeteria isn’t a traditional classroom, but I find myself being a teacher every morning. Manners are important. Using your napkin, closing your mouth when you chew, not making a huge mess, not talking while you eat, and how to compost your food and trash when you’re done finds its way into my cafeteria teaching every morning. 

What can I say, I am a teacher and that will never change. I was reminded just today of another alliteration as I watched my cell phone date change from April to May.  May matters. Many times we look at May as the busiest time of year with end of the year testing, field day, awards day, end of the year parties, etc. But what our real focus should be is pushing our students as hard as we can as long as we can. May matters.

I despise those mugs that read “the reason I teach: June, July, and August.”  Yes, the summer months are very needed by us all. It is important to regain energy, motivation, and even some professional development. Our children deserve the summer days of camps, swimming, vacations, sleeping late, and playing past bedtime. But every single minute with our students matters. We still teach. We still motivate. We still need to equip and inspire. We do this in May simply because May Matters. 

Jennifer Hogan is a wonderful blogger who I have been following for some time. She has started a hashtag movement this year entitled #maymatters. I encourage you all to use your social media with your May activities using that hashtag. I don’t encourage you to do this for recognition (or some of the prizes that are offered), I encourage because it gives us some motivation as we are planning meaningful activities for our students in the month of May.

My own children cannot wait to get their Xbox and TV back on weekdays. I don’t allow these things on weekdays during the school year (although I’ve relented for Thursday night football and NBA games….hey, I live with all boys). There are a couple of movies that are coming out this summer they can’t wait to see. They are both attending a camp and I am sure will have plenty of friends over as well as playing pick-up basketball games with kids in the neighborhood. Additionally, Rosebro1 has summer golf tournaments and Rosebro2 has football workouts. I tell you all this to say that our students are very much like my children. They soon will have two months of movies, tv, video games, playtime, hanging out, and being lazy. That should not start in May. There shouldn’t be movies in our classrooms, extra recess, or activities unrelated to learning. They will get so much of that soon. For many of our kids they are so close to reaching the next reading level or mastering that next math concept-why not push them to it…this also helps us in the fall. If kids slip during the summer, the extra push you give them now makes the slip not so far when August kids here. Our kids deserve your professionalism in May, because afterall #maymatters.

Friendships

I recently heard a story about a nine-year-old boy who was diagnosed with cancer. He was given a pretty good prognosis although it would require radiation and chemotherapy. He was so upset about the treatment and the fact that he would be losing his hair. He was nervous about going back to school completely bald. On the Saturday before he was to return to school all the boys in his class came over and held a head shaving party. All the boys in his class shaved their heads so that this one young man would not feel bad about himself returning to school. One of the boys that shaved his head was Brian. Brian, up until that point of his 9-year life, had always worn his hair really long. The reason he did this was because he had unusually large ears that protruded from his head. Wearing his hair long hide his large ears and gave him confidence knowing that the chances of ridicule were lessened. Yet, on the day of the head shaving party, Brian didn’t think twice about shaving his hair all off. He was willing to feel more self-conscience about the way he looked in order to help his friend feel less self-conscience about the way he looked and more included. What a wonderful friend?

The story, while making me cry, made me think about friendships within our classroom. This past weekend I was so excited about the prom at our high school. I loved taking pictures for friends and I adored watching the girls in their beautiful dresses and the young men looking so adorably handsome and so grown up in their tuxes. Yet, what I enjoyed more than anything was watching the friendships between the students. One of the mantras of my church is “you can’t do life alone.” Our church is headstrong in helping everyone find a place in the church so that everyone feels included, but that they also grow together.

Friendships are important. Being lonely is hard. Not just for students but for adults. We talk nonstop about collaboration and communication on your teams, but do we talk enough about fostering that collaboration and communication within your classrooms. I know that some students are harder to like than others. Some students don’t do themselves any favors in making friends. Some students are incredibly shy. Some students are socially awkward. Some students could be best friends with anyone including you. Some students bring schema that include fear, prejudices, exclusion, and/or rejection. This makes your job even harder. But most things worth doing are hard (i.e. exercise…. still trying to convince myself).

I could provide you with hundreds of articles describing how to develop friendships with peers, but the best way to build friendships within your classroom is by modeling. Modeling is the number one friend of a teacher. We should model everything from TDA to math computation, but we also model friendship skills. We model by how we talk to our students, the words we use with our students, how we respond when they’re upset, our treatment when they’re not making good decisions, or the ways we celebrate with them on minor and major accomplishments. DuBois once said, “children learn more from who you are than what you teach.” As my teenagers would say #truth.  Think about your work on a team. You can get so much accomplished when everyone works together-your classroom is no different. The friendships matter for the content you teach, but it matters for the humans you teach as well.

4th quarter

Spring Break. Ahhhhhh, spring break. It feels somewhat like Christmas. It is a well-deserved break and rest before the last 7 weeks of school. I often think that we are the busiest school in America, because I all the time try to find a “not busy time” and cannot find such a time in our calendar. I also think that the beginning of school and the end of school are the hardest. Labor Day is the reward for making it the first few weeks of school, spring break is preparation for the hardest weeks, and summer is the reward.  I had many plans for spring break this year. I had wallpaper to take down, rooms to paint, and 3 doctor appointments. I was derailed by the flu and strep throat. I was happy that it happened during spring break so that I had time to rest without the worry of missing any school time and also because I love sports. It was great watching the basketball finals and the Masters while recovering from my unexpected illnesses.

I was excited for the USC men and women’s basketball teams. Anyone who knows me, knows that my blood runs orange-and always will-but this doesn’t mean that I wish ill-will towards another team. I always try to help our students understand that as well. There is nothing wrong with loving your team-you should (even in the bad years)- but there is a lot wrong with being ugly to another person’s team just because they are your team’s biggest rival. One of the reasons I like championship games is the pregame stories. I love hearing the backgrounds of players and coaches. In fact, I believe that coaching is much like teaching, and I study coaches and their approaches with their teams. I think we can learn a lot about our teaching and leadership through watching and learning from good coaches. In most of the final 4 games-both men and women- the games were very intense and very close. I was intrigued by what is a ritual these days of holding up 4 fingers as the fourth quarter begins....(although I think there are only 2 halves in the men’s games…remember I did have a fever). Again, the intensity of these games and the importance of winning was shown on the faces of the players, the gestures of the coaches, and the craziness of the fans. That 4^th quarter acknowledgement is important. The players, the coaches, and the fans hold up those 4 fingers in an almost contract like manner as if stating that they are pledging their honor to give it their all in the last quarter of the game. It is not the time when they start trying hard-they’ve done that the last 3 quarters, but it is a symbolism of leaving it all of the court (or the field-for whichever sport). The players know the W or the L will more than likely be determined by how you finish.  It is exciting to watch. Because I am older and maybe because I have children who play sports, the saddest thing in the world to me is when a game is over and the camera pans to the losing team. I hate watching the players upset. I hate seeing coaches distressed because they must go and shake hands and congratulate the other team all the while wondering what they are going to say to their devastated players when they get into the locker room. But I can’t shake the feeling of the solidarity of the hand raising at the last quarter of the game.

Church ran over yesterday. I cannot tell you how many folks I saw looking at their watches. Yet, last night, my husband and I had our couple’s bible study and while the women were eating in one room doing what we women do-talking, the men were all eating huddled around the TV watching the finale of the Master’s. Cheers came from the room as the tournament went into extra holes as it ended 18 holes in a tie. I got to thinking about school. I got to wondering about our last “quarter” of school. These last 7 weeks are difficult. These last 7 weeks is why we have summer vacation. There is so much to do. There is so much intensity between end of year testing, programs, continually teaching and moving your students forward until the very last day, class placement cards for next year, and end of the year business. But would it not be so much better and so much easier if we acted like those sports teams who raise their hand holding up 4 fingers? 

Instead of complaining about all that must happen in the 7 weeks between now and summer vacation, what if we pledge to work together to make it the best ending of school ever? When this happens, we communicate more, we work together more, we work towards one goal. This makes it easier for all of us. It also makes it right for our students. When we enter the school in the mornings, knowing that there is a lot of work to be done, but knowing that you have a team to help you get it accomplished and knowing that you play an important part in that team, helps our students. It also helps you plan well thought out, meaningful learning engagements for our students in the last few weeks-even with the disruptions of testing, field trips, and programs. Our students, and quite frankly our colleagues, deserve to have the dedication of all faculty and staff to finish strong. I hope you will seriously consider changing your lens to one of (metaphorically-I can see so many of you now walking by my office holding up 4 fingers) entering the 4^th quarter knowing that you are going to give it all you have. You, our profession, and most importantly, our students deserve it.

First failure..

Recently I drove by the school of my very first teaching interview. I will never forget pulling into this  school over 20 years ago for a job interview.  I was so excited to get a job teaching, a goal that I had for myself for over 20 years and had worked hard in and out of the classroom to put myself into this position.  I had the right outfit, a wonderful portfolio that I had put together, and arrived a precise 10 minutes early for the interview.  I made eye contact and shook hands with the principal and assistant principal when they introduced themselves. The first 5 questions or so I was on fire.  I had great answers for each question and with each answer I became more and more confident.  Then things went south. I stumbled over a question about urban and suburban, mixing up their definitions. I then had a hard time finding the right words to answer a question about poverty.  I stumbled through the last few question as my confidence diminished.  This left me frustrated and I honestly remember, for the first time in my life, feeling that my dream of being a teacher was in jeopardy.  My next interview was in my hometown. My poor interview the week before had cracked me.  I was a nervous wreck.  I wasn’t myself, I lacked belief that I could do it, and I failed again (although I was later offered the job).  This left me even more upset, mad, and with less confidence than ever before.  

Then I started thinking about my goal.  I wanted to be a teacher.  I wanted to change the lives of kids, I wanted to make a real difference in those around me.  So, I contacted one of my professors and asked for a fake interview.  I asked the principal of the school where I was student teaching if she would pretend interview me and give me feedback and advice.  I read and I reflected on the past two interviews. It was also about this time that I read a wonderful quote that I've kept in the front of my journal for years, "Allow your passion to become your purpose, and it will one day become your profession" (Gabrielle Bernstien). Now, I think you all know how the story ends-clearly I got a job.  After a couple of weeks of really hard work, I was called to other interviews.  I vowed to myself that I would not let my doubts or fears enter my mind as I answered their questions with complete honesty and confidence.  I was offered that job, and two others actually.  

Looking back I think about what ignited me more. Was it my inner fear of never being employed or was it my drive to be the very best at whatever I do? Probably a little of both. So as I drove by the school of my first failure this weekend, I started thinking? What ignites your fire?  What motivates you to want to improve?  Do you even measure your improvement? Do you see the need for growth? Every day I’m motivated to improve.  Sometimes that motivation comes from outside-a blog I’ve read, feedback from a teacher, or a situation that didn’t go so well, and sometimes that feedback comes from within.  No matter what, I am constantly striving to do things better. So as we enter the homestretch to spring break, what is igniting you? I can promise you that working hard for something you don't care about is stressful, but working hard for something you really believe in-something you love-is called passion. That passion can ignite many flames. 

Hour of Power

I grew up in church. If the doors were open, we were there. My parents never missed an opportunity to have their family in church.  I loved it and if truth be told, I still do. The last two weeks I have not been to church. This is not by some protest, but I have been out of town. In the three weeks since I have been to church on Sunday, I have volunteered at a church event, had my small group bible study-twice, and had another meeting at church. Yet, last night as I was unpacking my clothes, I exclaimed to my husband how much I missed church.  As with many of my exclamations, he just smiled and I demanded to know the reason behind the smile. He explained that I have church every day- I read, I pray, I spend quiet time in meditation, and I try (and often fail) really, really hard to live a Christ like life. He stated that what I missed was the feeling of church. In fact, he questioned me on the last sermon I heard and its content.  Sadly, I could not remember the sermon. I thought and I thought and I thought and I could remember a song we sang and I could remember who preached (our church is in transition of pastors right now) but for the life of me, I could not remember the sermon.

As I have discovered in my almost 20 years of marriage, my husband is right many times. What I was missing was the hour of being at church and the wonderful message from our pastor and the beautiful music, and the friendships I have there. The "Hour of Power" is what it can be referred to as many times.  I was missing the feeling of church. It is a place that I am comfortable. It is a place where I feel great for an hour each week. This got me thinking about school and really about this blog.

Oftentimes I am told by staff members how much they cannot wait for the weekly Monday Musing to come out. They love reading whatever I’ve written. I often wonder; however, is it just the weekly ritual of the Monday Musing or is it because they are really interested in growing and learning in their craft or is it just fun to read what crazy idea I’ve come up with this week and how I relate it to school? Growing and learning how to be a better educator, leader, mother, wife, and friend has always been high on my list of reading material. I love to learn more about how to do all of those things better. Reading is great. Reading is fun for me. But reading about how to be better will not get me there. I have to actual practice being better. But first, I want to want to be better.  In the four years that I have written the Monday Musings, I have tried to make you think. I have challenged you to become better today than you were yesterday. I have tried to help you realize the awesomeness of this position and the real life potential you have to affect the trajectory of a child’s life.

I felt compelled this week by something that happened last week to challenge you to not make the Monday Musing a ritual that I sometimes make my Sunday church service. I just needed to say that I do this Monday Musing not to make you feel good for the few minutes it takes to read. I do this to hopefully help you continue to grow.  And unlike my church service, I hope you retain a little something along the way.

Wishing for better vision......

This weekend was Rosebro2’s 13^th birthday. I now have another teenager in my house. It seems unbelievable that he is 13. He is such a precious, young man and he has come so far since the days of appointments in Greenville twice a week dealing with his speech issues and his development. While he still has some social issues, he otherwise is very normal comparatively on the scale of whatever a normal teenage can be.  We had a great day on Saturday-not thinking about the one phone call that wasn’t coming. My mother always loved birthdays. There would be a phone call first thing in the morning singing Happy Birthday and presents and cake. How she loved a birthday cake. Saturday was hard. So when things are hard for me-I do what I do best-avoidance.

We went to a baseball game and we went to the westside to do a little shopping. As we were shopping I explained to my boys that we needed to look at the clearance rack first.  After a little shopping we went for lunch. As we entered the shopping center where the restaurant was, I noticed a homeless couple begging for money. They had two children with them. While I don’t know their circumstances, I could not help but feel a twinge of sadness that I had just complained about having to shop at the clearance rack and hoping I had a coupon for lunch while this family was outside in the cold wind begging for money for food and rent.

I realized that my life-my wonderful, full, blessed, crazy life, is slammed full of everyday blessings that I am choosing to ignore. Rather than focusing on “counting my blessings” as my mother would say, I choose to focus on the things that I want to change-another year with my mother, my never ending to do list, unending emails, phone calls to be returned, thank you notes to be written. Yet the only thing that I really need to be focused on is seeing better.  When I see better, I see moments of incredible wonder surrounding every single day.

As teachers we can be very consumed with what is wrong. I heard Tony Robbins once say, “What’s wrong is always available, but so is what’s right!” When we focus on the good things, we tend to find more of it. This positive focus also allows us to be happy-even through trails. It is also contagious. When we tend to focus on what is going wrong, we miss what is going right. So much energy can be lost on focusing on the negative.  I challenge you in these last three weeks before spring break, to focus on what is right-not on what you have left to do. When we do this, it makes the work ahead seem so small compared to the work we have already done. This habit of awareness makes your heart happier and who doesn’t need to be happier. 

Perspective

Many years ago, my husband installed a Sirius radio in my car for my birthday. This was well before satellite radio came preloaded in your car’s factory radio. I was somewhat pleased but also a little miffed that my husband spent money on something that we already had in the car-for FREE.  Yet, I instantly fell in love with Sirius (which is now XM). Having a station with all 80s music, numerous talk radio stations (my favorite), and uninterrupted playtime with no commercials has been amazing. With anything; however, there are limitations and sometimes I am not pleased with my satellite radio. For instance, it is not always commercial free all the time.  The talk radio does repeat many of their shows and they change their stations numbers so often that I have difficulty exploring other options and mainly stick to the same 5-10 channels all the time. Recently my renewal papers arrived and I really wondered if I should renew. My car has the capability to play anything on my phone- Itunes, Pandora, and even podcasts FOR FREE.  After some debate (and calling to negotiate a different price), I decided to renew my subscription to the satellite radio because it really is worth the price.

When I was thinking about this process, it reminded me a little of how people see us and how we see experiences. I am fully aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be, but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see. It really is all about perspective and circumstances. How we view things really is about our perspective. I recently read a very old quote from a Roman emperor that states, “Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is perspective, not the truth.” How very wise. We all think through a lens that is colored by our own experiences and beliefs. Yet, occasionally when we open ourselves up to other perspectives, we open to an entirely different way to thinking. Being open to different perspectives can so improve our day to day interactions with others. For years I have been using the “have to” vs. “get to” perspective. Instead of saying I “have to” cook dinner for my family, I restate it in my mind as, I “get to” cook dinner for my family. The truth is I don’t have to cook. I can call Hub City Delivery, but the new perspective is, “I get to prepare something my family will enjoy together.”

So how does this apply to us here at school.  We have many obligations as educators….attend a meeting, turn in grades, call that parent back, complete the field trip form, and the list goes on and on. It can feel burdensome. It can feel tiring. It can feel overwhelmed. But what if we thought about those obligations as opportunities… I get to go to an RTI meeting and discuss a troublesome students with my highly qualified team of folks, I get to invest in the life of a child, I get to meet the needs of a student by listening to the concerns of a parent. Obligations can drain us. Opportunities can excite us. Obligations can discourage us while opportunities can give so much to us. Obligations require complaint, while opportunities give us a reason to give thanks. So at this very busy time of year, the crunch time of school, how is your perspective moving you forward or is it holding you back?